*bring u home after date*
*slip ur panties off while we makin out*
*washes them in cold water tumble dry low so u got a fresh pair to wear back home*
My mom teaches Kindergarten and I went to her classroom a few days ago and saw what appeared to be a small shrine dedicated to Jodie Foster in the corner of the room and I had literally no idea why it was there, so I asked my mom about it and she said it’s where the kids can go to tattle on each other so they don’t always do it to her
So basically my mom tells her little Kindergarteners to tell on each other to a magazine clipping of Jodie Foster that they call Miss Tattle and if you don’t think that’s the funniest thing then get out of my face
i think about this a lot
Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation
Albus is 17 and loses his virginity in his room and forgets the snake talks to his dad and when Harry gets home the snake is all like OH MY GOSH YOU’D NEVER GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT HAPPENED
Meet Cory Nieves. He’s a dapper, 10-year old CEO of Mr. Cory’s Cookies who started his own booming cookie business in an effort to help his mom buy a car after moving from NYC to New Jersey in 2009.
Don’t you just love this?
EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS OMFG
He dresses better than I do
boys? you mean sex toys that are rude and don’t even vibrate? no thank u
During a convention interview, star Glenn Howerton was asked why his character was named Dennis, whereas Charlie Day and Rob McElhenney's characters are named after themselves. Howerton responded by saying that he wanted to distance himself from his character as much as fucking possible.
and we’re back.
When you hit the blunt before you go on the air…