• girl: babe come over
  • boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
  • girl: my parents aren't home
  • boy: I know

absentions:

it’s so rare that you meet someone who makes you feel so warm and happy like they are like sunshine and you just want them around all the time

westindianheaux:

i was born in the right decade. the decade of the selfie and googling the answers to hard problems.

princessminun:

i cant believe i bought THE shinji ikari for a price of $9.99

All the clones are saying Titty Malaysia and I feel a little weird because I keep saying Titty Manslaw like its a thing but it’s so not and it so shouldn’t be

katfishkardashian:

This is my first song from my first album, Trans-Suburban Fantasy. If you could just take a minute to listen and maybe reblog it would mean the world in helping me get a record deal and stop producing songs only through my ipad, I’ll have the itunes link up asap if anyones interested :) Love you guys!

penis-hilton:

me dying