oomshi:

*asks ouija board what’s for dinner*

horse-feces:

twerks-of-being-a-wallflower:

davestrjder:

“haha 420 blaze it” i chuckle as i light another vanilla scented incest

vanilla scented incest

genocidercyo:

clockey:

you’re the window to my wall

you’re the sweat that drips down my balls

bigbirdvevo:

why cant we be friends i sing as i go onto page 38 of your blog

xhaymitch:

not with that theme

kill-natalie:

surimistick:

i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:

“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”

and i was like woah

thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten

I just said “that’s brilliant” aloud.

boydivisions:

do you ever make a huge scene and then march off to your bedroom but eventually you get hungry and you feel like you can’t leave your room because you want to prove a point or something

ambitiousbard:

just be grateful that bing didn’t buy tumblr

ruralfox:

THIS IS THE MOST ADORABLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN *wheeze*

starksexual:

i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it

honksy:

*on my deathbed*

nurse: do you have any last words

me: i………..regret……being so……m…..mean………and heartless…………….

*the light goes out of my eyes*

*a small piece of paper falls out of my hand*

*the paper says one word only*

“sike”